“Just let it go.”
You’ve heard this advice a thousand times. From friends, therapists, self-help books, meditation teachers. It sounds so simple. So obvious.
And yet — how exactly are you supposed to do that?
The problem with trying to let go
Most people interpret “letting go” as an act of will. You identify something you’re holding onto, and you try to… stop holding it.
This doesn’t work.
The things we grip tightest aren’t being held consciously. They’re being held at a level below awareness. You can’t release something through effort when the holding isn’t happening through effort.
This is why “trying to let go” often makes things worse. You’re adding another layer — the effort of releasing — on top of what’s already there.
What actually happens when we let go
Real letting go isn’t something you do. It’s something that happens when the conditions are right.
When you fully allow something to be there — without fighting it, without trying to change it, without needing it to be different — it often releases on its own.
The grip loosens not through force, but through acceptance. Not resignation. True acceptance. Meeting what’s there exactly as it is.
This isn’t passive. It takes more presence than fighting ever did. But it’s the only thing that actually works.